Acutely aware of the trembling hold
I lay claim to on that rickety Trellis
Two times my foot falters, my goal still unaltered
It's that window or the whip of the mistress
A moon just as tall as the good Reverend Paul
and as bright as the eyes of my pony
Mama says when its full we come straight home from school
While the housewives find courtesans for stoning
Spurts of jubilant laughter escape cherry lips
dripping down, sounding sweet as molasses
feet rubbed black with ash born of bonfires past
Stains stubborn as three pairs of jackasses
Rose bushes and briers cut my feet like barbed wire
Us grown boys don't mind them so much
Come morning me and Grace, we're both gonna be eight
And mama promised me peach pie for lunch
Slithering legs, lithe from boy's play
make it in two strides up to her bedroom
She straddled the sill, trussed in nightgown and frills
Climbing back down to prance with the moon
All night we ran just as young children can
and we conjured up pirates and treasure
Tonight's tryst was a secret,and we both swore to keep it
A forbidden and dangerous pleasure
She shimmied quick up those vines, just a nick before five
And i whistled my way through the forest
I'm officially eight not a minute too late
Cause I'm in love with that girl, Gracie Norris.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Blemished- ABBY
a gem of hidden beauty lying dead within herself, those memoirs of a life well lived sit dusty on a shelf. the foundation of a house well-built, the straining seams of time, a beauty nature calls her own with a touch from the divine.
farther from the thought of peace, than she has ever wandered, a haughty gaze and fallen tears have pushed her demons onward.
a weed within the garden that besides her shines perfection~~~and in the well of all things dying, she glimpses her reflection.
Rock me to sleep, Oh mother earth, for what more is there than rest? when the ones we gather to ourselves reject our open breast.
A throb of cut emotion and of newfound sight at birth, pride regained and joy relived as we bathe ourselves in mirth.
farther from the thought of peace, than she has ever wandered, a haughty gaze and fallen tears have pushed her demons onward.
a weed within the garden that besides her shines perfection~~~and in the well of all things dying, she glimpses her reflection.
Rock me to sleep, Oh mother earth, for what more is there than rest? when the ones we gather to ourselves reject our open breast.
A throb of cut emotion and of newfound sight at birth, pride regained and joy relived as we bathe ourselves in mirth.
Untitled- ABBY
Callous hearts that draw us in
to a place where all is broken
and pressing on into the night
our deepest wills are spoken
We have no hope within ourselves
except what we've created
and we bring our souls, in tune; as one
and find our hearts elated
And in this place so far removed
we set our demons free
and allow ourselves to bathe within:
a deep and bloodstained sea
A sea where all our sins are poured
and flow over at the brink
and with endless thirst we stoop to hell
and stop there for a drink
salvation chooses only those
who have something left to give
so here our kind are left behind
with no life left to live
a heart beat; still and shallow
in the hollow chest of love
grows fiercer in the darkness
as the soul is caught above
to a place where all is broken
and pressing on into the night
our deepest wills are spoken
We have no hope within ourselves
except what we've created
and we bring our souls, in tune; as one
and find our hearts elated
And in this place so far removed
we set our demons free
and allow ourselves to bathe within:
a deep and bloodstained sea
A sea where all our sins are poured
and flow over at the brink
and with endless thirst we stoop to hell
and stop there for a drink
salvation chooses only those
who have something left to give
so here our kind are left behind
with no life left to live
a heart beat; still and shallow
in the hollow chest of love
grows fiercer in the darkness
as the soul is caught above
Sunday Pennance- ABBY
a line between the pages
a word thats rarely spoken
a maid who drops her very soul
in the sunday pail as token,
for all the sins she can't erase
and the pain that she can't ease
hoping that her sacrifice
will earn her some release.
and from the grave of one i loved
a whisper breaks the glass,
between the present, where i sit,
and the childhood of my past
it takes me back
to a time in life
before i fell for him
before i sacrificed myself
on the alter of his sins
and i recall
with growing clarity
the things that i have lost
and the countless times ive nailed my heart
to a self inflicted cross
and reminding me of endless nights
where death has drawn me in,
enticing me with offers
of forgiveness from within.
and as the breeze draws nearer
and the bloodlust fills my eyes
the brazen scales are lifted,
and i finally realize;
that the world to which im shackled
is a lost and empty place
and there within the shadows
sits the haunting of her face
a word thats rarely spoken
a maid who drops her very soul
in the sunday pail as token,
for all the sins she can't erase
and the pain that she can't ease
hoping that her sacrifice
will earn her some release.
and from the grave of one i loved
a whisper breaks the glass,
between the present, where i sit,
and the childhood of my past
it takes me back
to a time in life
before i fell for him
before i sacrificed myself
on the alter of his sins
and i recall
with growing clarity
the things that i have lost
and the countless times ive nailed my heart
to a self inflicted cross
and reminding me of endless nights
where death has drawn me in,
enticing me with offers
of forgiveness from within.
and as the breeze draws nearer
and the bloodlust fills my eyes
the brazen scales are lifted,
and i finally realize;
that the world to which im shackled
is a lost and empty place
and there within the shadows
sits the haunting of her face
The Weaver's Loom- ABBY
In shades of quiet solitude,
'neath the shadows
and the shimmering slivers
of the palest moons,
and the sweetest remembrances
of rose-red blooms,
inflaming the hidden garden
where she sits entwined at the Weaver's loom.
And the Weaver's loom so sweet to behold,
is a snare so tenderly laid;
and maidens fair for ages past
have spoke their pennance there.
the smoothe stone of the path i meander down
bids me reliquish my clutch on life;
and to find my soul at the Weaver's loom,
at this thought of paradise.
the sleeping sunshine awakens
with a bold grin and open arms,
bathing all who behold his jubilance
with a warmth so long awaited
the world seems to stop
and bask in the fulfilment found in the bliss of one small moment.
'neath the shadows
and the shimmering slivers
of the palest moons,
and the sweetest remembrances
of rose-red blooms,
inflaming the hidden garden
where she sits entwined at the Weaver's loom.
And the Weaver's loom so sweet to behold,
is a snare so tenderly laid;
and maidens fair for ages past
have spoke their pennance there.
the smoothe stone of the path i meander down
bids me reliquish my clutch on life;
and to find my soul at the Weaver's loom,
at this thought of paradise.
the sleeping sunshine awakens
with a bold grin and open arms,
bathing all who behold his jubilance
with a warmth so long awaited
the world seems to stop
and bask in the fulfilment found in the bliss of one small moment.
Strawberries- ABBY
I was a small strawberry once
in summer shade
deep shadows of sleeping cats, watchful of
rose white and rose red, both sandal footed
and cold grass frolicking, issuing to the backyard
world a summer-girl chirrup succeeded by one
toothy boast and one shy smile.
I was a small strawberry sometimes then
a summer dress made of me, a scarlet fruit
clothed in berry hued and seed-studded
white dotted fabric frocks
i twirled and orbited a small space
like the same true fruit in cool soil
among chastening berry blooms
in the small, silent garden
the strawberry and i
plump red, sweetening in summer sun
laughing at the distillation of time
and the absence of memory then
in summer shade
deep shadows of sleeping cats, watchful of
rose white and rose red, both sandal footed
and cold grass frolicking, issuing to the backyard
world a summer-girl chirrup succeeded by one
toothy boast and one shy smile.
I was a small strawberry sometimes then
a summer dress made of me, a scarlet fruit
clothed in berry hued and seed-studded
white dotted fabric frocks
i twirled and orbited a small space
like the same true fruit in cool soil
among chastening berry blooms
in the small, silent garden
the strawberry and i
plump red, sweetening in summer sun
laughing at the distillation of time
and the absence of memory then
Clarity- ABBY
While the half moon dances swiftly over tides of ocean foam and the
starless sky mournes softly for the loss of its unborn; when the spray and
mist of seas untamed come crashing to the sand, whille the sun is still held captive i trod this stretch of land.
and on the far horizon the moon begins to fade....and the world around me echoes with the dawn's first shades of grey, the tears of God the father trickle down to us in rain; reminding all who stand beneath that even he feels pain.
And my feet still falling noiselessly on sand unmarred as glass
smeared swiftly over empty space in times not too far past
As the sun's first rays strike swiftly into dark's now straining seams; they surface solemn sadness like the end of joyous dreams. but like all things, the good and bad are often intertwined; for the sun brings with in warmth renewed and clarity of mind.
starless sky mournes softly for the loss of its unborn; when the spray and
mist of seas untamed come crashing to the sand, whille the sun is still held captive i trod this stretch of land.
and on the far horizon the moon begins to fade....and the world around me echoes with the dawn's first shades of grey, the tears of God the father trickle down to us in rain; reminding all who stand beneath that even he feels pain.
And my feet still falling noiselessly on sand unmarred as glass
smeared swiftly over empty space in times not too far past
As the sun's first rays strike swiftly into dark's now straining seams; they surface solemn sadness like the end of joyous dreams. but like all things, the good and bad are often intertwined; for the sun brings with in warmth renewed and clarity of mind.
Eden Lies- ABBY
while we were sleeping soundly
upon this bed of lies
the world around us crumbled down
beneath our stricken eyes
a world of solemn beauty
a crossing of the line
that brings us into solitude
and draws us out of time
to eden, to that quiet place
where at one time all was well
when we knew we were beautiful
that place before we fell
but lovers often find in time
the path is bittersweet
and the road that leads to happiness
is off of lover's leap
in partaking of this mortal sin
and seeking after bliss
we realize the devil's price
is a long and weighty list
and yet we saunter onward
increasing all our debt
knowing time will kill us both
if it hasnt found us yet
upon this bed of lies
the world around us crumbled down
beneath our stricken eyes
a world of solemn beauty
a crossing of the line
that brings us into solitude
and draws us out of time
to eden, to that quiet place
where at one time all was well
when we knew we were beautiful
that place before we fell
but lovers often find in time
the path is bittersweet
and the road that leads to happiness
is off of lover's leap
in partaking of this mortal sin
and seeking after bliss
we realize the devil's price
is a long and weighty list
and yet we saunter onward
increasing all our debt
knowing time will kill us both
if it hasnt found us yet
The World; His Antfarm ABBY
Sleeping in a slumber i have slept since time began;
and shifting through my fingers like the hourglass shifts sand,
are the thoughts we've all been thinking, for since tasting of her fruit
the knowledge we've been drinking is the death of tender youth.
and drifting through the folds of time she finds herself intwined,
within the reel of tape she cant stop playing in her mind.
As if some higher power laughs while she stumbles in the maze
that He Himself has trapped her in to wander all the days that He finds
Himself enchanted with a proud and haughty gaze, as He leads her in directions that have no stopping place.
And though she strains against the glass to go her seperate way,
with a cold and calloused, nail-scarred hand He forces her to stay.
Within the frames of desprateness she alone has been expected,
to praise The One who makes her run on a course that He's selected.
and shifting through my fingers like the hourglass shifts sand,
are the thoughts we've all been thinking, for since tasting of her fruit
the knowledge we've been drinking is the death of tender youth.
and drifting through the folds of time she finds herself intwined,
within the reel of tape she cant stop playing in her mind.
As if some higher power laughs while she stumbles in the maze
that He Himself has trapped her in to wander all the days that He finds
Himself enchanted with a proud and haughty gaze, as He leads her in directions that have no stopping place.
And though she strains against the glass to go her seperate way,
with a cold and calloused, nail-scarred hand He forces her to stay.
Within the frames of desprateness she alone has been expected,
to praise The One who makes her run on a course that He's selected.
Sullen Mind- ABBY
in the cool wisps of the midnight: while sleeping mother's lie, and children dream of fleeting clouds and passing summer skies~~~while the world lays still and colm beneath the weathered gaze of time, and the haze of early morning pierces deep into the mindof every heartless soul that walked the earth in this...the time of my remembrance.
in the soft light of the evening when all is come to rest, when the sun has danced and flittereed over every empty nest, and dim shadows creeeping swiftly as the sun lays down to sleep, bring with them callous memories of the curses that we reap. And as the moon emerges and the earth is bathed in light, an eerie glow of emptiness fills the air with new delight.
In the harsh light of the daytime, beneath the piercing rays~~~of putrid hearts and dying dreams~ and a day within the mind of minds, a mind so lost and pained as mine, trailing in the sails of time and the ending of this reign of peace, captured, drowning in the depths of this my sullen mind.
Oh my desprate, sullen mind! so given to the strains of time, a mind so torn and tattered that the wounds they will not bind, and my demons ever cutting at this~~my sullen mind
in the soft light of the evening when all is come to rest, when the sun has danced and flittereed over every empty nest, and dim shadows creeeping swiftly as the sun lays down to sleep, bring with them callous memories of the curses that we reap. And as the moon emerges and the earth is bathed in light, an eerie glow of emptiness fills the air with new delight.
In the harsh light of the daytime, beneath the piercing rays~~~of putrid hearts and dying dreams~ and a day within the mind of minds, a mind so lost and pained as mine, trailing in the sails of time and the ending of this reign of peace, captured, drowning in the depths of this my sullen mind.
Oh my desprate, sullen mind! so given to the strains of time, a mind so torn and tattered that the wounds they will not bind, and my demons ever cutting at this~~my sullen mind
Mea Culpa- ABBY
i am a solitary creature
in a world of well placed faces
intricately swirling
twirling my soul through the traces
bringing desprate ressurection
to the lost doors and closed spaces
of a mind that strained to find
the empty rhymes of mirrored graces
but ill-informed and ignorant
words often interchanged
have failed still to label her
for she is, in fact,
insane.
insane, but not in common prose
she's better found as tipsy
for she teeters and she twitters
while she begs to touch the life tree
the tree thats in the book of lies
the tree that stands the test of time
the tree to mend her shattered mind
it bears such fruit to make her mine
the tree of life
the fruit of sight
to see both good and evil
in that bitter bite she touches life
before he takes it from her
He is the Alpha and Omega
she is the apple of His eye
and with a nail-pierced hand
He built a stand
just to wisk it from beneath her
i am a solitary creature
for i alone am not found wanting
and i bow my head in respect for the dead
and His yoke of love that killed them
in a world of well placed faces
intricately swirling
twirling my soul through the traces
bringing desprate ressurection
to the lost doors and closed spaces
of a mind that strained to find
the empty rhymes of mirrored graces
but ill-informed and ignorant
words often interchanged
have failed still to label her
for she is, in fact,
insane.
insane, but not in common prose
she's better found as tipsy
for she teeters and she twitters
while she begs to touch the life tree
the tree thats in the book of lies
the tree that stands the test of time
the tree to mend her shattered mind
it bears such fruit to make her mine
the tree of life
the fruit of sight
to see both good and evil
in that bitter bite she touches life
before he takes it from her
He is the Alpha and Omega
she is the apple of His eye
and with a nail-pierced hand
He built a stand
just to wisk it from beneath her
i am a solitary creature
for i alone am not found wanting
and i bow my head in respect for the dead
and His yoke of love that killed them
The Dark In Me Abby
there's a ripple in the surface
of this cool facade i keep
my demons, left untended
are stirring from their sleep
helpless, i allow free reign
to the world that ive created
and im shamed to see her work in me
leaves me secretly elated
its a darkened eye, an ugly gleam
staring back from in the mirror
and i surrender all to my demon's call
and after all these years, unleash her
she is all the dreams forbidden
she is things best left untouched
and she is recklessly forsaking
the life i loved so much
she drowns me...and i crave her
the darkness to my light
while the sun still shines,
she bides her time
for my demon owns the night
i am lost beneath the surface
of the girl that ive become
and its useless now to fight her
for the dark in me has won
i almost cant recall the past
shes all but been erased
for i was slave to the dark in me
when i suffered my first taste
of this cool facade i keep
my demons, left untended
are stirring from their sleep
helpless, i allow free reign
to the world that ive created
and im shamed to see her work in me
leaves me secretly elated
its a darkened eye, an ugly gleam
staring back from in the mirror
and i surrender all to my demon's call
and after all these years, unleash her
she is all the dreams forbidden
she is things best left untouched
and she is recklessly forsaking
the life i loved so much
she drowns me...and i crave her
the darkness to my light
while the sun still shines,
she bides her time
for my demon owns the night
i am lost beneath the surface
of the girl that ive become
and its useless now to fight her
for the dark in me has won
i almost cant recall the past
shes all but been erased
for i was slave to the dark in me
when i suffered my first taste
Bound- Abby
When He said all was beautiful
On that seventh resting day
I wonder if he realized
The price He’d left to pay
I have to question, if even then
If he knew that we would bleed
If he knew that love would kill us
Or if he really didn’t see
My conscience cried, I felt the pain
When creation was complete
Because I knew back then, that when it ends
I would still be left, deplete
But he did not hear our reason
He turned from all our pleas
And so now we find that for all our time
We never find release
Call me jaded, I will not hide
That my world has lost its light
For what I felt destroyed me
And I sit in shredded night
Im losing all that was myself
Becoming more irate
The weary creature ive become
Is the product of my hate
The end of all things beautiful
Is all that waits for me
And the love that left me helpless
Keeps my devastation free
On that seventh resting day
I wonder if he realized
The price He’d left to pay
I have to question, if even then
If he knew that we would bleed
If he knew that love would kill us
Or if he really didn’t see
My conscience cried, I felt the pain
When creation was complete
Because I knew back then, that when it ends
I would still be left, deplete
But he did not hear our reason
He turned from all our pleas
And so now we find that for all our time
We never find release
Call me jaded, I will not hide
That my world has lost its light
For what I felt destroyed me
And I sit in shredded night
Im losing all that was myself
Becoming more irate
The weary creature ive become
Is the product of my hate
The end of all things beautiful
Is all that waits for me
And the love that left me helpless
Keeps my devastation free
Five Degrees Darker- Abby
one degree darker, dimmness prevails
Yet i've found this new bleakness enticing
im holding my heart over fissures of failure
But i find the aloneness exciting
two steps more towards manic unrest
and closer each night are my demons
dreams turn to terrors,
as i encounter my errors
and sleep is elusive, at best
and three steps farther into waters unchartered
where the darkness consumes me completely
i drown in the mire of this life i desired
in some sick, twisted way it defines me
Four measured leaps forward, i stand at the brink
of insanity, of living to prosper
for this and for him ill wade out in sin
and let rise whats still mine to offer
Five degrees blacker, the shade of my sorrow
A beauty in its own way and right
and ill follow in faith till it leads me astray
for i find my true self in the night
Yet i've found this new bleakness enticing
im holding my heart over fissures of failure
But i find the aloneness exciting
two steps more towards manic unrest
and closer each night are my demons
dreams turn to terrors,
as i encounter my errors
and sleep is elusive, at best
and three steps farther into waters unchartered
where the darkness consumes me completely
i drown in the mire of this life i desired
in some sick, twisted way it defines me
Four measured leaps forward, i stand at the brink
of insanity, of living to prosper
for this and for him ill wade out in sin
and let rise whats still mine to offer
Five degrees blacker, the shade of my sorrow
A beauty in its own way and right
and ill follow in faith till it leads me astray
for i find my true self in the night
Organ Failure- ABBY
fragile fingers losing grip
on the foothold of my youth
sliding swiftly through the mire
those slippery slopes of truth
unsure feet are losing pace
stumbling in the crevice
dividing lines of space and time
steps i somehow missed
Burning lungs are skipping breaths
coughing the ash of mistake
and i draw it in like the dregs of my sin
for i perish should i not partake
Blinded eyes are missing signs
that caution to choose a new path
not knowing i slide in the slicks of my pride
and ive lost the chance to turn back
A pumping heart pours blood from my veins
Out the hole that now gapes in my chest
it cannot be sown when its cause lies unknown
Though for years we've done our best
on the foothold of my youth
sliding swiftly through the mire
those slippery slopes of truth
unsure feet are losing pace
stumbling in the crevice
dividing lines of space and time
steps i somehow missed
Burning lungs are skipping breaths
coughing the ash of mistake
and i draw it in like the dregs of my sin
for i perish should i not partake
Blinded eyes are missing signs
that caution to choose a new path
not knowing i slide in the slicks of my pride
and ive lost the chance to turn back
A pumping heart pours blood from my veins
Out the hole that now gapes in my chest
it cannot be sown when its cause lies unknown
Though for years we've done our best
For My Brave Autumn Abby
For Autumn...words desert me
For Autumn, they werent quite enough
When April turned its pages to May,
While springtime flowers came out to play
Words could not save her, my Autumn
My Autumn, her soul was a diamond
My Autumn, she shined from within
While her life was in shambles
trailing briar thorns and brambles
Brave Autumn, she forgave all my sins
Brave Autumn, she smiled like an angel
Brave Autumn, even though he abused her
the lights were all off, she alone paid the cost
My Autumn was frail, in the end Autumn failed
For my Autumn, it was simply too much
To My Autumn...what can i give her?
To my Autumn, what could i write?
My Own Autumn passsed,
and her grave has amassed
thick vines like those once twined about her
Still Autumn, the trees bow in reverence
Still Autumn, the birds do not sing
Still Autumn, I sit in this silence
While emotions run towards violence
Still Autumn, I cannot escape you
For Autumn, they werent quite enough
When April turned its pages to May,
While springtime flowers came out to play
Words could not save her, my Autumn
My Autumn, her soul was a diamond
My Autumn, she shined from within
While her life was in shambles
trailing briar thorns and brambles
Brave Autumn, she forgave all my sins
Brave Autumn, she smiled like an angel
Brave Autumn, even though he abused her
the lights were all off, she alone paid the cost
My Autumn was frail, in the end Autumn failed
For my Autumn, it was simply too much
To My Autumn...what can i give her?
To my Autumn, what could i write?
My Own Autumn passsed,
and her grave has amassed
thick vines like those once twined about her
Still Autumn, the trees bow in reverence
Still Autumn, the birds do not sing
Still Autumn, I sit in this silence
While emotions run towards violence
Still Autumn, I cannot escape you
Seen ABBY
Softly spoken words at dawn
He wispers, love, dont leave this
Weve chosen not to loose our light
We've decided that its worth it
For years ive searched the crowded rooms
for that soul that keeps me feeling
And he offers me much more than that
a chance to keep on breathing
I sleep in peace, i wake in love
I find my wounds are closing
His heart and mine keep perfect time
I only worry that its showing
You see, i worry that they'll see
that this world will steal hope from me
That too soon ill find these twisted lines
Lead straight towards pain, and swiftly
I cannot bear to lose my hold
On this little bit of freedom
the prayers i pray when the sky tinges grey
Will forever be to want him
He wispers, love, dont leave this
Weve chosen not to loose our light
We've decided that its worth it
For years ive searched the crowded rooms
for that soul that keeps me feeling
And he offers me much more than that
a chance to keep on breathing
I sleep in peace, i wake in love
I find my wounds are closing
His heart and mine keep perfect time
I only worry that its showing
You see, i worry that they'll see
that this world will steal hope from me
That too soon ill find these twisted lines
Lead straight towards pain, and swiftly
I cannot bear to lose my hold
On this little bit of freedom
the prayers i pray when the sky tinges grey
Will forever be to want him
Chain Reaction Suicide- ABBY
The words "im sorry" echo
through the house that once was home
The car door slams to that black Trans Am
While she stands in their foyer alone.
Up the stairs she makes her way,
lone footsteps so disturbing
no running feet, no playful chase
the silence so unnerving
That kingsize bed, their pride and joy
they saved so hard to buy
it stands alone, an empty throne
so she sits a while to cry
Shes turned the pictures all facedown
she cannot bear to see them
the last thing she needs as her sanity recedes
is yet another memory of him
The sheets still smell like him and her
of great sex and cheap perfume
the love they made on rainy days
its passion fills this room
The bathtub where he washed her hair
and made love to her so often
the memory so clear she imagines hes here
and for a moment her heart, it softens
But that boyish smile and tender touch
cant erase what she found when she got there
on the red eye flight she flew all night
to find him in bed with a stranger
twenty four and out to forget him
she invites an old friend to their bed
ashamed when she wakes, that she made his mistake
she puts that old twenty-two to her head
"Father forgive me, for i have sinned
And i cannot live with my burdens."
she pulls that trigger and hopes God forgives her
and that her love knows she's sorry she hurt him.
Two days later a note was found
In the bedside dresser drawer
And a curious note, to her lover she wrote
And she addressed it "Twenty Four"
"dear lover, read and comprehend
For the number twenty four
Is how many weeks your young child lived
before i died here on this floor.
And know my love, that its your fault
that your baby perished within me
you left us to suffer for one night with another
You gave up her lifeblood, and freely."
It was more than he could handle you see
and that young man walked down to the celler
he strung up a rope, pulled it tight to his throat
as he died he whispered " i loved her"
through the house that once was home
The car door slams to that black Trans Am
While she stands in their foyer alone.
Up the stairs she makes her way,
lone footsteps so disturbing
no running feet, no playful chase
the silence so unnerving
That kingsize bed, their pride and joy
they saved so hard to buy
it stands alone, an empty throne
so she sits a while to cry
Shes turned the pictures all facedown
she cannot bear to see them
the last thing she needs as her sanity recedes
is yet another memory of him
The sheets still smell like him and her
of great sex and cheap perfume
the love they made on rainy days
its passion fills this room
The bathtub where he washed her hair
and made love to her so often
the memory so clear she imagines hes here
and for a moment her heart, it softens
But that boyish smile and tender touch
cant erase what she found when she got there
on the red eye flight she flew all night
to find him in bed with a stranger
twenty four and out to forget him
she invites an old friend to their bed
ashamed when she wakes, that she made his mistake
she puts that old twenty-two to her head
"Father forgive me, for i have sinned
And i cannot live with my burdens."
she pulls that trigger and hopes God forgives her
and that her love knows she's sorry she hurt him.
Two days later a note was found
In the bedside dresser drawer
And a curious note, to her lover she wrote
And she addressed it "Twenty Four"
"dear lover, read and comprehend
For the number twenty four
Is how many weeks your young child lived
before i died here on this floor.
And know my love, that its your fault
that your baby perished within me
you left us to suffer for one night with another
You gave up her lifeblood, and freely."
It was more than he could handle you see
and that young man walked down to the celler
he strung up a rope, pulled it tight to his throat
as he died he whispered " i loved her"
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